To answer this question, I asked a tantra expert: Jamie Davenport of the Bra Coach! Check out her response! ⬇⬇⬇

Tantra can teach us how to tap into our greatest life force energy - our sexual energy!  Tantric training can also show us how to identify blockages from negative sexual experiences or even sexual trauma (which is really common!!).  More importantly, you learn tools, skills and resources to remove those blockages to enable you to reach your fullest orgasmic potential!  This can be hard work, but with a greatest reward. For example, tantra can teach you how to tap into your throat chakra - in turn allowing you to be use your voice to express what you like, what feels good and what your curious about   Remember, the French call an orgasm “la petite mort”, the little death, which allows us to be reborn over and over again every time we connect with our bodies - alone or with a partner.

About 40% of women say they’ve ever squirted in their lifetime. For some, their ability to squirt was a spontaneous, natural discovery, while others engage in specific strategies and techniques to squirt. But what are these strategies? Perhaps unsurprisingly, there is no one-size-fits-all method to get there - but women describe a combination of techniques that work for them. One of the most common is clitoral stimulation, with a variety of options and techniques ranging from oral sex to using fingers or vibrators. Many also described vaginal stimulation, with one study describing the “come here” motion as a pleasurable form of internal stimulation that leads to squirting more often than an “in-and-out” motion. Some found that combining vaginal and clitoral stimulation was the key for them, with one or the other on its own not being quite enough to get them there. For some, anal penetration, often combined with other stimulation, was what led them to squirt most often. 

In addition to particular types of stimulation, some find that engaging their pelvic floor at the right moment, or through repeated tensing and release, is what brings them to squirt. Importantly, mental state also plays a role! For a lot of women, the more aroused and comfortable they feel, and the more trust they have with their partner or partners, the more likely they are to squirt. Although a lot of the current research on this topic has focused specifically on women with vaginas, much of it applies to anyone with a vagina! 

So, squirting isn’t necessarily about any one strategy, but about taking the time to explore your body with or without a partner and to see what feels good! But, it’s also important to know that squirting isn’t always associated with increased pleasure. In one study, about 60% of women reported that squirting was pleasurable for them, and only 20% said that it always coincided with orgasm. We could say a whole lot about the misconceptions mainstream pornography creates about sex- and squirting, like other sex acts, is often not portrayed in a representative or accurate way. 

Lastly, and importantly, not everyone can squirt- and that’s okay! There is a whole world of sexual experience to explore outside of squirting. 

Here's the full question: When you're in a long term relationship and you want to introduce something new like a threesome how do you find an additional partner without creating turmoil in the relationship? 

Threesomes and group sex are something a lot of people in longterm relationships are curious about! Around 18% of men and 10% of women report having particpated in a threesome at some point in their lives, and many more than that fantasize about the possibility. But how do you go about transitioning from fantasy into reality? 

The first step? Strong communication with everyone involved. In the context of a longterm relationship, this involves making sure you and your partner are fully on the same page about what you are looking for. Some questions you might consider are: 

• Do we both want to have a threesome?

• Will this be a one-time encounter, or something ongoing?

• How can we ensure we show respect for the person who joins us, and ensure they feel safe? (As a couple, you have some built-in privilege in this dynamic. Make sure to acknowledge it!) 

• What boundaries do we each have? 

• How will we communicate in the moment if one of us is feeling uncomfortable?

• How can we ensure that no one feels left out?

• Are we looking for someone of a particular gender or sexuality? 

Once you've taken some time to talk openly about the topic, the next step is to start looking for someone who shares these goals and fantasies- and then making sure to bring them in on the conversation as well! The more people involved, the more needs, desires, and boundaries there are to consider and communicate about. 

But where do you find a willing third party? Sometimes, you might find someone in your existing social circle, or at a social event like a party. But, quite often, people turn to apps catered to this purpose! Feeld, for example, is an app that caters itself to non-monogamous relationships with options to link your account with a partner. This way, each partner can join the app with equal autonomy and transparency. It also allows you to clearly communicate what you are looking for to other app users.

Some non-monogamous folks and singles are particularly cautious of what have come to be known as 'unicorn hunters.' These are couples seeking a third, often without a lot of care for that third party. Instead, they treat the third person as a sexual object there to fulfill their fantasies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes - any configuration you'd like! - but there needs to be mutual respect for everyone involved. Don't forget that your third (or fourth, or fifth) is another person with their own boundaries, needs, and desires.

In some cases, one longterm partner might really want to have a threesome, while another does not. Sometimes, that's the end of the conversation, and it's important to respect your partner's comfort level and boundaries. Repeatedly asking can create pressure - and a 'yes' after being asked over and over again is not freely given or consensual - in other words, it's not a true 'yes.' Instead, consider diving into a conversation with your partner about other desires and fantasies, and finding the ones that you mutually share!